Bubbling Up
Bubbling up. You don’t even put it on the boil
You don’t even turn it on. You push it down
Don’t let it come up. And you worry about me
You want me to get better. You should be worried about you
And what you’ve buried
I’m getting better. By feeling what I’m feeling
I’m processing shit. Bringing it to the boil
Letting love and life move me. Take me to rock bottom
Move me, to where I should be
Not stick with this familiarity. That’s not serving me
So don’t worry about me. I’m getting lighter and lighter
By clearing and clearing. What’s not serving me
You should be worried about you, adding layer and layer.
Pushing it down
What about when you’ve built it up too much
You’re so dense it starts to spew out of your mouth
Then it’s forced upon you
To get it out, get it out, get it out
Dribbling out of your mouth
They call it a midlife crisis
But you just got to that age. Where there is no more space
To push it down, push it down, push it down
So now it’s covered all over your face
You can’t hide it no more. And everyone can see it
It’s on display
Every part of your body so tense/so frustrated
Where has this come from?
Why now? Why me?
What’s happening to me?
So many years of not dealing
Putting plaster on plaster. Not feeling, not healing
And now it’s all come at once. It’s too much to take
Feel like life’s ending
Wound after wound. Scar after scar. Heartbreak after heartbreak
They all come to the surface
Wanting to be dealt with straight away
You don’t know where to turn
Feel like your choking. This is the future you
So don’t look at me with pity
I’m going through what you will go through
I’m just doing it 20 years before you​​
​
​